“Staying here, blaming them, and forever defining your life by what they did will only increase the pain. Worse, it will keep projecting out onto others. The more our pain consumes us, the more it will control us. And sadly, it’s those who least deserve to be hurt whom our unresolved pain will hurt the most.”
― Lysa TerKeurst, Forgiving What You Can't Forget
Lysa TerKeurst’s Forgiving What You Can’t Forget is a powerful and faith-centered work that speaks to the deep struggles of letting go and finding peace. Written with honesty and compassion, it invites readers into a journey of healing, offering wisdom rooted in scripture and personal reflection. The book resonates with anyone who has wrestled with pain, reminding us that forgiveness is not about erasing the past but about freeing the heart to live fully in God’s grace.
Synopsis from Goodreads...
You deserve to stop suffering because of what other people have done to you.
Have you ever felt stuck in a cycle of unresolved pain, playing offenses over and over in your mind? You know you can't go on like this, but you don't know what to do next. Lysa TerKeurst has wrestled through this journey. But in surprising ways, she's discovered how to let go of bound-up resentment and overcome the resistance to forgiving people who aren't willing to make things right.
With deep empathy, therapeutic insight, and rich Bible teaching coming out of more than 1,000 hours of theological study, Lysa will help you:
Learn how to move on when the other person refuses to change and never says they're sorry. Walk through a step-by-step process to free yourself from the hurt of your past and feel less offended today. Discover what the Bible really says about forgiveness and the peace that comes from living it out right now. Identify what's stealing trust and vulnerability from your relationships so you can believe there is still good ahead. Disempower the triggers hijacking your emotions by embracing the two necessary parts of forgiveness.
My reaction to this novel...
Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa TerKeurst is one of those books that I had high hopes for, mainly because the title immediately caught my attention. It sounds like the kind of book that could offer a strong and meaningful reading experience, especially because forgiveness is such a deep and important subject. However, after finishing the book, I can honestly say that it was just an average read for me.
It is not because the book is bad. It has a good purpose, a meaningful message, and a topic that is worth reading about. But at the same time, I cannot say that it became one of those books that really impressed me or stayed strongly in my mind after I finished it.
The biggest reason for my rating is the writing style. For me, the wording did not always work. There are books where the writing immediately pulls you in. Even before you fully understand where the story or discussion is going, you already feel connected to the author's voice. You want to keep reading because the words feel natural, clear, and easy to follow. Unfortunately, I did not have that experience with this book. There were parts that I enjoyed, but overall, I found the writing less engaging than I expected. I was able to finish the book, but I did not always feel that strong connection that makes a book memorable. Sometimes, the way an idea is written can be just as important as the idea itself. A very good message can lose some of its impact when the presentation does not connect well with the reader. That was one of my main issues with this book.
I also felt that some parts could have been written in a simpler way. The book is not difficult to understand, but there were moments when the wording felt more complicated than it needed to be. I personally prefer books that can communicate a deep idea using simple and natural words. Simple writing does not mean shallow writing. In fact, sometimes the simplest words can have the strongest impact. That is something I felt was missing in some parts of this book.
Another thing that affected my rating was the pacing. There were moments when the book felt a little slow for me. I did not dislike reading it, but there were sections where I felt that the book could have moved faster. Some ideas seemed to take longer to develop than necessary, and this made the reading experience less engaging. A book can have a lot to say, but that does not always mean every part needs to be long. Sometimes, a shorter explanation can be more powerful. Sometimes, one strong paragraph can say what several pages are trying to explain. That is why I think this book could have benefited from being more focused and more direct.
I also noticed some repetition throughout the book. Repetition can be helpful, especially when an author wants to make an important point clear. But when similar thoughts appear too often, the reading experience can start to feel less fresh. There were moments when I felt that I already understood the point, but the book continued explaining it. This is probably one of the main reasons why I did not find the book as engaging as I hoped.
Still, I want to be fair to the book. There are clearly good intentions behind it, and the writing has moments that are thoughtful and sincere. It is obvious that the author wanted to create something that could speak to readers who are going through difficult experiences. The book also has a warm and encouraging tone. It does not feel cold or overly academic, which makes it easier to approach.
However, having a good intention and having a strong reading experience are two different things. A book can have an important purpose and still not be a five-star read. That is exactly how I feel about this one. I appreciate what the book is trying to do, but I did not connect with the execution as much as I expected.
Another thing I look for in a book is whether the author's words stay with me after I close the last page. Unfortunately, this book did not leave that strong impression. There were some thoughts that I appreciated while reading, but after finishing the book, I did not find myself thinking about it very much. It was more of a "that was a decent read" experience rather than a "I need to tell everyone about this book" experience. And I think that difference matters when giving a rating.
If you already enjoy Lysa TerKeurst's writing, there is a good chance that you may connect with this book more than I did. If you are looking for something that has a Christian tone and deals with a serious subject, it may also be worth checking out. But if you are very particular about writing style and prefer books that are simple, direct, and highly engaging from beginning to end, you may have the same reaction that I had.
For me, the main issue was not the idea behind the book. It was the way the book was written. The message has value, but the presentation did not completely capture my attention. And sometimes, that is enough to make the difference between a three-star book and a four- or five-star book.
Overall, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget is a decent read, but unfortunately, it did not become a favorite for me. It has a meaningful purpose and some good writing moments, but the wording, pacing, and repetition made the experience less engaging than I expected. I finished it feeling that it was okay, but I was not amazed by it.
My Overall Rating: ⭐⭐⭐✨(3.5/5)
.png)
.png)
.png)
.png)
.png)
.png)
.png)
.png)
.png)
